What Love Language do you Speak?

What Love Language do you Speak?

When Wendell and I got married, we thought it’s going to be an easy cloud nine life. Well, why not, we dated for 8 years before tying the knot and we were able to stand the storms of that very long engagement (We were proud to have surpass the what they called “7th year itch”, whatever itch it is.). Our lives within those years were so unbelievably going on the right places. We were welcome by both sides of relationship, whether it is family or friends.

However, letting two individuals with different beliefs and upbringing styles live in the same roof is where you can see the reality of marriage. IT IS NO CLOUD NINE. Wendell and I started to see each other’s flaws and differences and sure, it’s a challenge for both of us. Loving our spouse every single day is one of those easy-to-say-but-hard to-do-each-day things. But it sure is important. We always go back to what we have promised on the altar:

“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ‘till death do us part.”

One of the many important things needed for a marriage to keep going is communication. And even in this area, husbands and wives has different ways in doing it. As Wendell and I are decided in making our union work peacefully as possible, we invest in attending seminars and reading books to learn how we can keep our relationship better and stronger. We come to learn about the Five Love Languages. This is actually a book written by Gary Chapman, a renowned marriage counselor, and director of marriage seminars. In his book, he discussed the concept of a “love tank”.

What is a Love Tank?

Every child is born with a love tank. It is like a gas tank in a car, while love is like oil in a car’s engine. When the love tank is full the world looks beautiful and we feel loved.  When the love tank is empty we feel discouraged and uncertain about ourselves and our relationships.

The Five Love Languages

Like what it is said, love is like oil in a car’s engine. So to make a relationship work, we should fill the love tank with the right love language. Here are the 5 Love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Upon knowing this, Wendell and I needed to communicate the right love language of each other to be able to fill up each other’s love tank. You can check out your own love language on the love languages website.

Rarely do couples share the same love language. And sometimes the love language we communicate is not actually our partner’s but ours—it is what we want to receive. Just like us before we discover this five love languages, for example, Wendell is so good at affirming words that he praises me every time to make me feel happy. He complements the way I take care of the house and our children. Yet I feel I’ll be happier if he will help me do the dishes and give some time playing with the kids (Acts of Service).

On the other hand, I love serving him— make him coffee, prepare his food, massage him. But taking a look and appreciating his works according to him makes him feel more loved (Words of Affirmation). It comes to a realization that we’re doing our own love language rather than doing the other’s. So we need to adjust and make an effort to change how we communicate. We also have to consider that our love language is changing from time to time depending on what current situation we’re in.

We may have differences in views and doesn’t share the same interest, but we were able to compromise and prioritize each other through the help of the love language. This is just one tool , of course. Always putting God in the center of your union before anything else will absolutely keep your marriage going amidst the challenges.

 

About The Author

Andrea is a full time home maker. When she is not busy taking care of her husband and kids, she goes out giving financial management talks. She is a proud breastfeeding mom for four years running and an avid Oleia Topical Oil user.

8 Quotes that will Prepare us for the Season of Giving

8 Quotes that will Prepare us for the Season of Giving

It’s 23 days before Christmas, is your heart ready for the season?

Here are some quotes that will remind us the essence of Christmas.

  1. No material things can beat the power of expression. An act of kindness can change once perception towards you, your family, your friend, your country and even to the God you serve. Make a difference this Christmas.

“Christmas gift suggestions: to your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” ~ Oren Arnold

  1. Indeed, Christmas is not just a one-time festive. It is something that goes into your heart, mind and soul. It should remain there, be penetrated to your being and be Christmas anytime, anywhere.

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have a real spirit of Christmas.” ~ Calvin Coodlige

  1. Go beyond the usual. Don’t focus on what you lose but on what you can give.

“Christmas is doing little something extra for someone.” ~ Charles M. Schulz

 

  1. I don’t believe in magic/s but having the opportunity to give and love others can make you feel unexplainable astonishment and gratitude.

“The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each other’s’ burdens, easing others’ loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.” ~ W.C Jones

  1. Giving is what gives life to these season.

. “Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.” ~ Washington Irving

  1. Not everyone has the capability to give back. As you give this Christmas forget the things that you’re about to give. And open your eyes to the goodness of God for enabling you to give. Be glad, for not everyone has something to give.

“For it is by giving that we receive.” ~Francis of Assisi

  1. Let the Spirit of Christmas be with you all throughout your journey.

“I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.” ~ Charles Dickens

  1. Our family is one of the greatest gift in our lives. How lovely it is to see everyone celebrating life and giving each a reason to live this Christmas even if you’re away with your family. Do not forget to send your love to them. Let your presence be felt because it’s the only thing that can make their night warm.

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.” ~ Burton Hills

Remember, we could not give what we do not have. So, fill your tank with love so you will never be out of love as you give it to everyone around your life, not just this Christmas but the whole year round.

About The Author

Yenyen is a multipod who is passionate about creative pursuit and wired to honor God through creative lifestyle. She 'sketch' and 'type' a lot for her blog. Every night she never go to sleep without putting "Oleia" on her hands.

What’s Good and What’s Not in Breastfeeding

What’s Good and What’s Not in Breastfeeding

Do you want to know the secret to happy latching and successful breastfeeding? I will share to you today the things that will surely help every mom’s breastfeeding journey:

What is helpful

    • Confidence or assuring yourself that you are capable of breastfeeding
    • Build confidence with breastfeeding counseling
    • Moral support and deeper understanding on Mom’s vulnerability after birthing

My loving, supportive and caring husband massages my feet every night while baby latches on me, in that way I feel that I am important, loved and relax. Our son has his good sleep, not fuzzy and has a very good morning wake up.

    • Restful sleep
    • Right information and positive remarks

What’s not helpful

  • Emotional Crisis
  • Alcohol
  • Substance Abuse
  • Smoking
  • Caffeine
  • Soft drinks (too much)
  • Physical Stress

Breastfeeding starts at home, with the support of husband, and everyone in the family and community. It’s not an easy thing to do, but knowing what is beneficial and what to avoid will help our breastfeeding journey worthwhile. God bless you and your little ones 🙂

About The Author

Pam is a proud breastfeeding mom and a lactation consultant. She is the woman behind every stylish creations of Nursingmommiesph nursing wear and an avid Oleia Topical Oil user.

How Filipinos Celebrate All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day

How Filipinos Celebrate All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day

I remember during this time of the year, Me and my family are flocking with the thousands of people at the Manila North cemetery to visit our departed love ones. We even do “cemetery-hoping” to reach those who are in other cemeteries. This has been a common Filipino tradition every All Saints’ day (November 1) and All Souls’ day (November2). All Saints Day is a widely celebrated religious Holiday in the Philippines very similar to the Mexican Tradition of “Día de los Muertos” or “Day of the Dead,” which also includes All Souls Day.

It is said that All Saints’ Day can be traced back to the Greek Christians in the fourth century when they participated in a festival in tribute to all martyrs and Saints on the first Sunday after Pentecost. It is believed that the date of November 1st was chose to replace the Festival of the Dead which is primarily celebrated by the Pagan belief. All Saints’ Day was later tied with All Souls Day in 993 CE in Cluny at the monastery. These two festivals were specifically created to pay tribute to deceased relatives and loved ones and rapidly gained popularity amongst Christians all over the world.

Weeks before this holiday, Filipinos go to their respected cemeteries to clean the graves of their love ones. They beautify the surroundings for those special days. Families decorate the tombs with candles, flowers, and some with things that would remind them of their love ones. Others would just repair and repaint the damage that have happened to the tomb over time, and just put simple candles in front of the tomb.

During this time, families take advantage of the holidays to reunite with relatives and friends while visiting their demised love ones at the cemeteries. Some even travel back to their respective provinces to visit and pay respect to their departed loved ones They would have potlucks and eat and drink and catch up, or simply reminisce times when their loved ones are still alive. They do these things as they stay at the graveyard for more than two hours and even stay there overnight. Yes, overnight as they vigil and sleep in the graveyard with the other relatives while celebrating the All Saints and All Souls Days.

Others take the opportunity of the long holiday to relax and get away from their usual day-to-day routine. They plan a simple family staycation or a barkada get together months before the season to relieve them of the hassle of the metro even for a short period of time. While others are celebrating the season outside, some just preferred to spend the holidays at the comfort of their homes.

Whether you’re one of us who joins the flocking people in the cemeteries, on a get-away with friends and families, or you’re one of the home-buddies during this event, we are prone to stress and it might ruin our precious holidays. In these times I always carry my Oleia Topical oil at hand to keep myself stress-free and ready to combat pain away, fast and natural.

 

About The Author

Andrea is a full time home maker. When she is not busy taking care of her husband and kids, she goes out giving financial management talks. She is a proud breastfeeding mom for four years running and an avid Oleia Topical Oil user.

One BOOBStacular Day

One BOOBStacular Day

It was really a boobstacular event last Saturday! 500+ breastfeeding moms and dads together with their kids show off their most creative mom-dad-baby costumes at the BOOBSTACULAR Costume Party held at the PBA Cafe in MetrowalkOrtigas Pasig City last Saturday, October 28, 2017. During this event I was able to meet other fellow “mga kasuso” and enjoyed being surrounded by women of strength and confidence, knowing that all of us experienced both the hardships and benefits of breastfeeding.

Ms. Pamela Ann Jill Virtucio, Founder of Nursingmommiesph and the event’s main Organizer, aimed to give value and importance to all the breastfeeding mothers for them to enjoy their breastfeeding journey. Their main advocacy is to help provide proper information about breastfeeding and support newbie and mothers who have difficulties in breastfeeding and to boost their confidence to normalize breastfeeding in public and live their life with a sense of self-worth, respect and dignity.

It was very amusing to see the participants flaunt their unique and awesome costumes during the Mommy and Baby Fashion Show. And of course, the kids enjoyed the magic show, their Treat and Treats (no tricks, all treats!), Loot Bags, and raffle prizes. There were also a mom and baby fair that showcase mompreneurs’ products for children and mothers.

During the event, Oleia Topical oil, one of the major sponsors, gave away samples for moms and babies to experience the goodness of miracle oil. This 100% natural oil helps relieve ache and pain faster. The product can help moms (and even dads!) to stop everyday discomforts caused by headache, sinusitis, back pains, sprains, cramps and more. Oleia is also safe for babies to help soothe them from diaper rash, insect bites, bumps, or just use it to give them a soothing massage.

Being a breastfeeding mom, I also experienced the challenges of breastfeeding. It is not an easy path to take. There are tears and pains that go along with it. I had headache from sleepless nights and back/wrist pains. I am really thankful that I have Oleia with me during this journey. It made my breastfeeding adventure easier. My whole family also benefitted from this amazing product in a lot of ways and I can attest to that.( I can share it to you in my next blogs, watch out for it!)

This one of kind gathering of breastfeeding moms also featured natural parenting talks and and an inspirational talk from ARUGAAN chair Nanay Ines Fernandez. Truly, this event gave all the breastfeeding mothers a 100% satisfaction, enjoyable and lovable costume party for the whole family.

The event was made possible by Nursing Mommies Ph and co-presented by My Crib Ph.

 

About The Author

Andrea is a full time home maker. When she is not busy taking care of her husband and kids, she goes out giving financial management talks. She is a proud breastfeeding mom for four years running and an avid Oleia Topical Oil user.

How to Give Baby a Massage

How to Give Baby a Massage

Baby massage has many benefits and is a wonderful way for you to bond with your baby. In fact, studies have shown that massaging your baby can reduce crying and fussiness, help her sleep more peacefully, and alleviate common reasons of baby cries like constipation and colic. Some say that it even boosts a baby’s ability to fight off germs.

Giving your baby a massage is as simple as it is enjoyable. The best time to massage your little one is when he is alert, well-rested, and seems interested in the environment. All you need is 10 to 15 minutes. Before you begin, make sure the room is warm and quiet. Take off any jewelry that could get in the way, and grab some baby oil. Choose a massage oil that is specifically made for babies. Select unscented oils, with natural fragrances and no added perfumes.

Here are important points to keep in mind before you start massaging your baby:

1. Make infant massage part of your daily routine.

Consider massaging your baby around the same time every day so that he comes to expect and enjoy it. What time’s best? There’s no “best” time, really. In general, you want to choose a time when you’re not feeling rushed (so don’t try to squeeze in a squeeze session while dinner’s cooking or you’ve got the washer and dryer going) or when your baby isn’t hungry (since he won’t enjoy the belly rubs if his belly’s empty) or too full (he’ll likely spit up his supper — you won’t make that mistake twice!).

2. If you’re using massage oil, choose one that’s safe for babies.

Sure, you don’t need oil to rub your little one the right way, but it’ll be more pleasant for both of you if your hands glide more easily over your baby’s body. For my little ones I use Oleia Topical oil. It is 100% natural and safe for babies. Oleia is easily absorbed into a baby’s skin — and easily digested when your little one sucks on his hands or fingers. It comes in Chamomile and Lavander. Chamomile has natural soothing effects and is traditionally used to treat insomnia in babies and adults. Chamomile, along with lavender, can relieve symptoms of colic. Chamomile has also been shown to help anxiety and depression, and can uplift a fussy baby’s spirits. While Lavender has many calming and sedative effects. A lavender oil massage can help to relax a fussy baby and encourage sleep. It can also be used on insect bites and to reduce itchiness.

3. Pick an area that’s comfortable for both of you,and warm.

at least 75° F — so your nearly naked newborn doesn’t catch a chill while he’s chilling from your massage. You can massage your little one on your bed (put a towel underneath to avoid oil stains on your comforter). Add some soothing background music or simply use the time to talk and sing to your baby.

4. Follow your baby’s cues

No one likes to be massaged when they’re not in the mood, and that’s true for your baby as well. If he turns away or frowns or cries when you lay your hands on, save the session for later. And remember, you don’t have to give a full-body massage every time. If your baby decides he’s had enough after you’ve rubbed his legs and feet, that’s okay too.

5. Be gentle— and don’t apply too much pressure or it will be overpowering.

Another smart tip from the infant massage playbook: Stroking away from the heart (from shoulder to wrist, for example) is relaxing, and therefore better suited for pre-nap or pre-bedtime massages. Stroking toward the heart (from wrist to shoulder) is more stimulating and better suited for when your baby will be awake and active. You can also do a combo.

 

Here are some infant massage moves to get you started:

  • Head- Start with your hands on both sides of your baby’s head, then run your hands down both sides of his body, from his head to his toes. Next, draw tiny circles on your baby’s head with your fingertips.

 

  • Face- Fold your hands (as if you were praying) on your baby’s forehead, then gently push outward from the center. Next, use your thumb to draw a smile on your baby’s face by stroking from one cheek, across the upper lip to the other cheek. Repeat on the lower lip.

 

  • Chest- Fold your hands on your baby’s chest, then push out to the sides, as if you were smoothing the pages of an open book.

 

  • Tummy- With your fingertips, draw an oval below your baby’s belly button. (Move clockwise, to follow the natural path of digestion.) Next, “walk” your fingertips from one side of your baby’s belly to the other, on the diagonal, as if you were making an “X.”

 

  • Back- Stroke his back side to side and then up and down.

 

  • Legs and feet- Hold your baby’s heel in one hand; with your other hand, start at the top of the thigh and slowly stroke all the way down to the ankle, gently squeezing the leg as you go, as if you were milking a cow. Reverse the motion and go from ankle to thigh. Then rub the feet with your thumbs, gently uncurling and stroking the toes. Switch legs. You can do these same strokes on the arms and hands.

Your baby’s foot is divided into different zones. By applying gentle pressure to certain areas, you will be able to soothe and comfort– providing relief from discomforts while bonding with your baby.

 

About The Author

Andrea is a full time home maker. When she is not busy taking care of her husband and kids, she goes out giving financial management talks. She is a proud breastfeeding mom for four years running and an avid Oleia Topical Oil user.