"The choice that everyone argues for centuries maybe. Should I avoid it? Or should I get over it?"

When Relationship Ends

Relationships are like roller coasters: sometimes we go up, and sometimes we go down. Some say: “The only way when you hit rock bottom is up!” But is this also true for relationships? Falling in love is fun, falling out of love is painful, it’s stressful, and worst case scenario, it may be depressing. A break up, a freaking break up, from the word itself, break. Emotional, mental, physical, and even economical, all broken.

The Fear

The reason why a lot are finding it hard to break up? Fear.

Fear of what’s life ahead, fear of seeing their ex in the arms of another, worse, the “new” one is better than you, fear of not having the second chance.

Yup, fear hinders you, fear makes you weak, fear stops you from being okay.

We need to decide, don’t just go with the flow, only dead fish goes with the flow. The choice? Avoid or Get over it? Some people avoid the unpleasant task of starting a difficult conversation. Others have a “just-get-it-over-with” attitude. But neither of these approaches is the best one. Avoiding just prolongs the situation (and may end up hurting the other person more). And if you rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through, you may say things you regret.

So, what will you do? What you must do is something in the middle: think things through so you’re clear with yourself on why you want to break up. Then act.

My opinion on the choice that we must make on breaking up

The Do's
  1. Think over what you want and why you want it. Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision. Be true to yourself. You just need to do it in a sensitive way.

  2. Think about what you’ll say and how the other person might react. Will your BF or GF be surprised? Sad? Mad? Hurt? Or even relieved? Thinking about the other person’s point of view and feelings can help you be sensitive. It also helps you prepare.

  3. Have good intentions. Let the other person know he or she matters to you. Think about the qualities you want to show toward the other person — like honesty, kindness, sensitivity, respect, and caring.

  4. Be honest — but not brutal. “Honesty” doesn’t mean “harsh.” Don’t pick apart the other person’s qualities as a way to explain what’s not working. Think of ways to be kind and gentle while still being honest.

  5. Say it in person. You’ve shared a lot with each other. Respect that (and show your good qualities) by breaking up in person. If you live far away, try to video chat or at least make a phone call. Breaking up through texting or Facebook may seem easy. But think about how you’d feel if your BF or GF did that to you!

  6. If it helps, confide in someone you trust. It can help to talk through your feelings with a trusted friend. But be sure the person you confide in can keep it private until you have your actual break-up conversation with your BF or GF.

The Don'ts
  1. Don’t avoid the other person or the conversation you need to have. Dragging things out makes it harder in the long run — for you and your BF or GF. Plus, when people put things off, information can leak out anyway.

  2. Don’t rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through. You may say things you regret.

  3. Don’t disrespect. Speak about your ex (or soon-to-be ex) with respect. Be careful not to gossip or badmouth him or her. Think about how you’d feel. You’d want your ex to say only positive things about you after you’re no longer together. Plus, you never know — your ex could turn into a friend or you might even rekindle a romance someday.

These are just some do’s and don’ts of breaking up. At the end of the day, the decision, the answer lies between you and your partner. C’mon, think about it, if it’s broke, fix it, dumping it is not the first choice yet. Assess yourself, assess your partner and maybe you can work this out. But if you are sure of your decision, never be selfish, think of what will she feels about it. It’s not just your loss, it your partner’s also. Always remember, do not be succumbed to fear. Be sincere, talk to her, it’s a conversation.

And always remember after breaking up: “There’s more to life than love, life is fun, you just gonna how.” As an epic ending, here’s a song from Freestyle to help you out on your break up moment!

About The Author

Fahrizal “Fahr” Faisal is a Broadcasting major from Bulacan State University. Musician, Badminton Player, Marketing Staff and an Oleia user. With all his activities, Fahr uses Oleia Topical oil to reduce pain and fatigue from all of his activities.